Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
