Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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