my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
