wakey wakey hands off snakey
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
