Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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