On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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