Say something about gay babies.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He did a backflip because drugs
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