There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
