just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
