I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
