we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
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She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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