college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
