So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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