Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
