Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
