Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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