playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
