Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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