: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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