What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
