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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
