I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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