none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
