Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
