It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
A bitchslap is in order.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
