Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize