After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize