i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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