She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
