Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
is it fun? or sober?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
