Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
