playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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