i think my mom watched the whole time
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I need a burrito and a hug.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
