It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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