yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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