I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
