Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
