come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
