Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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