I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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