Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
