Tell her she can't have a vagina
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
