He had one of those small greek statue penises
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
