do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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