can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
