did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
