Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We had sex on a dog bed..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
