There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
