Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you never un-have a 4some
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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