Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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