why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
