i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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