Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
