i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
