i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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