Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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