oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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