sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
