she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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