I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize