Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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